The feeling started when I was really young.
I felt like something was missing. Like there was more to life than what everyone wanted to make me believe. Do not get me wrong I had a beautiful childhood and everything a child needs, but that was exactly the problem. I felt a void in that perfection. It made me question this perfectly pre-shaped future, it made me question all the answers they had, it made me question the whole system we live in.
“What you know you can’t explain, but you feel it. You‘ve felt it your entire life, that there’s something wrong with the world. You don’t know what it is, but it’s there, like a splinter in your mind, driving you mad.”Morpheus, the Matrix
I was stuck in the system
Nevertheless, before I could really break out of the system I was stuck in it for quite a while. I was an outstanding student at school, and when it came to choosing a career path, I had no idea what I wanted to do. And I feel that happens to so many young people because we are not given the proper time and attention to actually find our passion in life. Mostly because there are certain career paths that are considered more successful than others. Creative careers like art, theatre or dance is mostly looked at as not having a future. Because the system decides what is successful and whatnot. The system decides which career makes sense for you and which does not.
We think we have a choice, but we actually do not.
If I did not have those ideas planted in my had (which the system obviously does really subtle since you were born) what I should and should not do, I never even considered following my passion for art and dance. It was there yes, but never really an option. Also because my whole family, brainwashed by the system all their lives, pushed me to do “what is right”. And I find this so strange to be honest, that they never actually ask the person what they think is right, they just decide it for them. But no one can blame them, as they also grew up in this system.
So I chose a career that was one of the most promising ones according to the system – business. The reasoning is easy:
If you want to have success in your life, you need to get a really good education in order to get a really good job that pays really good money so you can live a really good life.
And business means money. The idea of my parents was that I become a fancy manager or better CEO of a huge company so I am sorted for life. Because in the system, money equals happiness.
I did what everyone told me to do
And because I had no clue what my passion in life was, I studied business. Business is for smart people, they say. Your chances for a successful career and a lot of money are high and the social acceptance is incredible, what else would you want? My idea was that in this career there are so many options that I can just decide later what I want.
I was a top student, as always. But during the course of the studies, I realised that I actually would rather do something more creative. Well, now it was too late. I was afraid of admitting this to myself and more to my family, which was so happy with me as a super important aspiring business manager.
When I was about to finish my Bachelor at the University of Leeds in the U.K., I always asked myself why I didn’t study dance. I found great joy and inspiration in the art of movement. But:
I was too scared of change, too scared of starting all over again when I was already seeing the finish line.
So I finished, with very good grades but with a very bad feeling in my gut. What followed then was the pressure of finding the right job – one of the biggest mistakes we humans make (Because of that pressure, I even got fired from one of my jobs).
Nothing is ever wasted
In the end, studying business wasn’t a waste of time. Let me tell you why: Everything serves its purpose, and every experience gives you a skill you can use in your life, so did studying business. Right now, I am creating my own project and building my own business, and I can totally use the skills my studies gave me. That is true for every career path you choose because beyond the courses you take, you will always learn way more important skills at university. You learn who you are, who you want to be, you get to know your limits, learn about relationships, better your communication skills and become more independent.
If I am completely honest, the most important things I learned at uni had nothing to do with business, but with growing up.
So, why do we start a career?
Is it for money? For success and fame? For our family? For a future that does not exist yet? Or is it truly because we want to learn how to develop our passion for the service of humanity?
Let’s be honest, when we chose what to study, most of us don’t know what we want to do in our lives. This is a crucial time in our lives where we should not decide out of pressure, but take the time to really explore what makes our heart smile.
Enjoy this video I made for all the rebels of society (like you!):
Thank you for appreciating my art!